A pain in the chest
Monday. Stressful day. Taught CSS in the morning. By the end of the class, I wondered if the students even understood what CSS really is. Can I improve? Why is it so hard to teach a technology that is the foundation of the web?
My chest hurts. It surely is nothing serious.
I must drive home quickly. I have an interview at 4:00 PM with a very important global figure. Damn, I didn't prepare for the interview as well as I wanted. I'm about to meet one of my idols, and I'll probably ask stupid questions. What an embarrassment. I have a doctor's appointment 15 minutes after the interview. Will I make it in time? I hate being late. It's because of people like me that the NHS is in such a state.
This damn chest pain. It must be anxiety. Let me take a Victan.
"I'm sorry, I completely forgot about our interview. Can we reschedule for next week?" I'm sad it didn't happen, but relieved to have more time. And I won't be late for my neurology appointment.
It hurts. It really hurts. Should I tell the doctor? She's a neurologist, not a cardiologist. Wait, do you think it's something cardiac? Again?
I rush to the hospital. Those damn PDF files are driving me crazy. Why doesn't my script work? What a joke of a data journalist I am—I can't even scrape data from a PDF...
I'm so tired. I need more sleep. How can I sleep more while keeping up with work, buying a house, and doing some sports? Damn, my chest still hurts.
Get home. Eat something. Back to work. Those damn PDF files. I fall asleep with my computer on.
The next morning. Damn, it still hurts. Maybe I'm really having a heart attack. Wait, if it was a heart attack, shouldn't I be dead already? You pushed too hard at the gym. It must be that.
Back to the PDFs. I glance over the schedule. Three meetings? How am I supposed to attend meetings and handle these damn PDFs? Why do PDFs exist?
I push myself to work. Faster, my brain says. You need to finish this before your colleague leaves the company. She's the only person who can verify if your data looks fine. But the pain. My chest hurts. It can't just be from the gym. Am I going to die?
I check my phone. Don't call anyone. You'll scare them. You've been scaring people all year. It surely is nothing.
I try to focus on cleaning the CSV files. Every cmd+c makes my chest hurt. Shouldn't you get that checked out? You could save yourself by going to the doctor. Don't go to the public hospital if you think you'll be taking time away from doctors for people with real problems. Get checked out. It costs money, but at least you can work afterward if everything is fine.
Drive to the hospital. Football is on, so no one has time to be in the emergency room. Stupid piece of shit, what are you going to say? My chest hurts, and I'm not sure if I'm about to die? "Hi. I... would like to see a doctor. My chest hurts, and I had a stroke one year ago, so... I'm kind of panicking right now."
The doctor sees me immediately. No one else is there. She talks to me and says it surely isn't a heart attack, but we need to make sure. "Let's take some blood samples just to be sure."
Wait, what if it's something serious? You haven't told anyone where you are. How would they know if you disappear from your phone? Damn. Okay, my little sister. She can stay calm and not panic about it.
"Hey, just to let you know.... [...]" She reacts calmly—at least by text. It calms me down.
The doctor returns: "Everything is fine. You overdid it at the gym. You need to take it easy." Oh, thank God. I'm not about to die! "But your heart... well, it's beating pretty slowly. Is this normal?" Damn. I'm about to die. "Yeah... Well, my Apple Watch says that my resting heart rate is close to that." I check my phone. That watch really keeps saving me, huh? "Oh, yeah. How often do you exercise?" "I try to play tennis twice a week and go to the gym at least once." "Oh, then it must be a sign of a healthy heart."
I step out of the hospital and take a deep breath. Not sure if it still hurts as before, but now I feel it's nothing. And I feel grateful that doctors exist.
The only lesson I didn't learn? That I need to take it easy.