Lagging Behind
One of my favorite quotes from an interview, one that I return to time and again, is this one from Ira Glass. He talks about the gap between what you’re currently doing and what you aspire to achieve. It resonates deeply with me because it was the first time I heard someone articulate so perfectly what I’ve felt for most of my life.
I know I’ve come a long way. I started in a place where I didn’t even know how to host a website, and now I’m someone who can dream of creating the amazing things I used to envy at The New York Times.
But lately, I’ve felt like I’m lagging behind. It seems like others around me are moving faster, more capable, and, well… they seem to know exactly what they’re doing.
Maybe that’s why I’ve been so committed to the idea of studying more. Quick update: I’m failing miserably at it. I keep falling asleep, exhausted, with my computer still on. I have to read a sentence twice just to make sure I really understood what it said. The books keep piling up, the to-do list grows longer and longer, and the number of meetings on my calendar only increases.
When I look at the calendar, I see two emojis marked on the 28th: 💥 🧠. They’re a reminder that I could have lost everything. They’re also a sign that maybe all those other “very important” and anxiety-inducing things from a year ago weren’t that important after all.
But deep down, that’s not really what I’m thinking. What I’m telling myself is this: You had an extra year that you weren’t supposed to have. Am I lagging behind?