There's nothing like a house about to become a home
I hate change.
Even though I consider myself progressive and have a deep appreciation for some anarchist thinkers, there's a conservative side of me that applies to my personal life what I don't want for society. Change implies breaking the simple rules that govern my life.
What truly unsettles me about change is the idea of losing control. Change feels like something is about to be different, and you won't have that comforting sensation of control.
E pur si muove.
Today marks the day we took on a lifelong debt and bought a house.
It's the opposite of certainty. I've imagined all possible scenarios in my head—ones where I lose my job, others where things go catastrophically wrong. I can't help it; it calms me down to convince myself that I've thought of every possible scenario.
Yet, the blank canvas calms me down. The possibilities. The moments that are about to happen there. The joy and tears. The love I'm sure will fill that space. The blank canvas of this house makes it more than just an investment.
It's a home in the making.
A place by her side.
Somewhere to call home.
And so we dream, poring over decoration magazines, Pinterest posts, and rendering designs on Blender (yes, I even designed my first piece of furniture!).
Some things seemed basic when others said them. Being proud of owning a house was one of those things for me. But I would be lying if I said I'm not proud of this. After everything terrible that happened last year, there's a blank canvas in front of us.
I've changed my mind. I like this kind of change, this kind of uncertainty.
There's nothing like a house about to become a home.