When your biggest priority is tomorrow
A year ago, I decided to devote more time to living in the present. That decision came after reading some texts on Stoicism and during a period when I was managing my anxiety. As my best friends that I have never metonce said:
I hate worrying about the future
’Cause all my current problems are based around the past
Brendan Lukens was probably onto something.
In my quest to focus on the here and now, I decided to try a new productivity app. I’m not sure if it’ll work for me (they usually don’t), but it made me realize something: of all the tasks on my to-do list, none of them look beyond tomorrow. No, I don't mean THE FUTURE, you know, a quasi-communist quinquenal approach to life; but even just next week, next month, or three months down the line.
My biggest priority always seems to be the immediate next day. Like Sisyphus, each day I roll the same boulder of tasks up the hill. The moment I complete one, another urgent item appears. The list never stops growing.
I still believe that worrying too much about the future can be pointless, but it also scares me that I lack a tangible goal for even the near future. Sometimes I worry that "I’m not really living—I’m just killing time".
Maybe all I need is a clearer map. Or learn to wander. After all, "not all who wander are lost".